25 Comments
User's avatar
Lisa McLean's avatar

You are speaking for a great many women, someone get this woman a microphone.

Lucy Pepper's avatar

Do we share the same husband?

I salute your ability to see the funny side at 3.36am!

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

I had two options: write about it or beat him senseless with yesterday’s leftover baguette.

Lucy Pepper's avatar

both! Do both!! ;)

Ian Winter's avatar

I can picture this as a novel, each chapter headed by a rule

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

Can you imagine??? It’d be a great way too air some really dirty laundry. 🤣

Ian Winter's avatar

I can even see that exact title on a front-of-shop Waterstones table.

Draft by Sunday, yeah?

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

I’ll do my best! 🫡

Sara's avatar

Yes to all the commandments!! My partner and I were about to resort to separate rooms after 15 years on account of his snoring but a C-pap machine recently saved our relationship.

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

His saving grace is that he doesn’t snore much. He farts like a factory though.

Sara's avatar

Hahaha I don’t know what’s worse.

Are We There Yet?'s avatar

Ooohhh lady, what a night!! I think we’re sleeping with the same man. 🤣😉

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

He’d better hope that’s not true. 😂

Sue Reed's avatar

Hilarious, and so much to identify with. My husband makes sounds that are positively bovine and should only be heard in the farmyard, when he rolls over. I now know why my grandparents had twin beds.

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

I literally have dreams about pigs. 😆

Sue Reed's avatar

Mine, moos 🐮

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

Well that’s disconcerting—and possibly a medical condition!

Sue Reed's avatar

It's amazing we've survived 40 years in the same bed - though it's gone from a meagre double to a super king.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Oh god, I'm a flopper when I roll over. I'd better not show this to The Muse.

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

Condolences to your wife. 💐

Wendy Varley's avatar

Hilarious, Linda! Oof. And so glad I don’t have a cat, to complicate the rules further.

Linda Unternahrer's avatar

She’s so determined to stay close that she’s become a champion log-roller. Last night might’ve changed her attitude though. She’s been sitting in the chair next to Franck’s desk this morning, glaring at him.

Wendy Varley's avatar

Haha! Cats hold grudges.